By Fatimah Bintu Dikko

Every parent dreams of raising a child who grows into a responsible, kind, confident adult. In many homes, mothers and fathers invest their strength, time, prayers, and resources to build good values in their children. They teach them respect, honesty, patience, and discipline. They tell them to be truthful, to work hard, to behave well, and to stay away from trouble. But as children grow older, they encounter a world that does not always reflect the lessons they learned at home. This is where the struggle begins — when parents raise children, but society quietly shapes the adults they become.

A child may leave home full of innocence, yet by the time they return, something in them has shifted. Society has its own lessons, and many of them contradict the values parents try so hard to instill. At home, a child is taught that lying is wrong, yet outside, they watch people lie freely and still succeed. In the house, they learn patience and contentment, but beyond the gate they see greed celebrated and shortcuts rewarded. They are told that kindness is a virtue, yet they witness cruelty, selfishness, and exploitation happening in broad daylight. Slowly, the lines begin to blur, and the world’s voice becomes louder than the one they heard at home.

Modern society raises adults through pressures that were hardly known in the past. Social media has crowded the minds of young people with unrealistic lifestyles, false definitions of success, and dangerous trends. Children grow up comparing themselves with images and standards that are not real, and their sense of worth becomes fragile. They begin to seek validation outside the home, from strangers who know nothing about them. A young person who once felt confident can suddenly feel inadequate because of what they see online. Society speaks loudly, and many children listen far more attentively than their parents realize.

Peer pressure has become one of the strongest forces shaping attitudes today. A child who behaves well at home may step outside and be mocked for being “too decent” or “too quiet.” They may meet friends who encourage rebellion, disrespect, substance abuse, or early exploration of things they are not ready for. Many children who were raised with good values begin to compromise just to feel accepted. They face a silent battle — the desire to belong and the desire to remain who their parents taught them to be. Some win that battle; many lose.

Schools, too, have become a major part of the society that shapes adults. Teachers bear enormous responsibility, but many classrooms are overwhelmed. Children encounter different influences — some positive, others harmful. A child may meet a teacher who inspires them for life, or another whose attitude discourages them and shapes their confidence negatively. Classmates introduce them to new languages, ideas, and behaviours, some of which become habits they carry into adulthood. Parents often send polished children to school only to receive them back with traits they cannot trace.

Society also shapes adults through the examples children observe. They watch how people treat one another, how leaders conduct themselves, and how adults behave in public spaces. When a child sees dishonesty being rewarded, they question the value of integrity. When they see disrespect, corruption, or violence becoming normal, they begin to believe morality is old-fashioned. Even the way people speak, dress, argue, and handle conflict becomes part of what moulds the future adult. No parent can fully shield a child from the world, but the world sometimes seems determined to undo the labour of the home.

The truth is that society today is raising adults faster than parents are ready for. Children grow up too quickly. Many are exposed to adult conversations, experiences, and responsibilities long before they are emotionally mature. Some face pressure to act older than their age — to dress older, speak older, think older. Childhood is shrinking, and adulthood is arriving prematurely. A child who should be playing and learning may already be dealing with issues far beyond their comprehension. This early exposure shapes their minds in ways that may take years to undo.

But this reality does not mean parents have lost the battle. It simply means that raising a child is no longer the role of a family alone. It requires a collective effort — a partnership between parents, schools, communities, and government. Every adult in society plays a part in shaping the environment children grow up in. A child observing a neighbour, a shopkeeper, a mentor, or even a passer-by is learning something. Good or bad, society leaves fingerprints on every growing mind.

Parents must stay present and involved. The world is loud; they must be louder in love, guidance, and attention. Parenting today requires intentionality — asking questions, building trust, paying attention, and correcting with patience. Children need safe spaces where they can speak openly without fear of judgment. They must know that even if society confuses them, home is where clarity and truth remain. When parents build strong emotional connections with their children, they provide a shield that society cannot easily break.

Communities also have a responsibility. Gone are the days when neighbours corrected children and supported parents. Today, many people look away from troubling behaviour because “it is not their business.” But when a community abandons its role, children grow up without a moral compass outside their homes. We need communities that look out for children, speak up when things go wrong, and help guide the younger generation. Every child deserves more than one source of positive influence.

Government, too, must step in. Policies that protect children, enrich education, promote youth development, regulate harmful content, and strengthen community structures are essential. When governments invest in young people, they invest in the future of the nation. Society becomes safer when the welfare of children is prioritized.

Ultimately, children become adults long before we realize it. By the time they reach certain ages, the world has already shaped their thinking, their behaviour, and their identity. Parents raise children, but society raises adults. To ensure that the adults we are producing are responsible, emotionally stable, morally grounded, and socially aware, we must work together. The home should be the foundation, but society must be the reinforcement.

If we want a better future, we must build a better environment for the young ones growing toward adulthood. We must teach them not only through words but through actions, not only in homes but in every space they enter. A child formed by good values at home and strengthened by a supportive society becomes an adult who contributes positively to the world. And that is the kind of future every community deserves.